Common Sense Tools for Back-To-School
Helping Teens Build Discernment And Confidence For The Year Ahead
It’s summer in Maine. Tourists crowd the highway up and down the coast, storefronts are bustling and everywhere the colors of the season are at their peak. Blossoms burst from the neighbors’ gardens, multicolored vegetables adorn the farmers’ markets, and every roadway is lined with a canopy of deciduous trees, who, in a few short months will be devoid of leaves.
No matter where you live, summer is a time of play. For many families, mid-August brings the added knowledge that these carefree days will soon draw to a close. Kids will return to school and life will go back to a quicker pace. It’s time to plan trips to the mall for school clothes, and pull back packs out of closets. And it’s time to prepare children for what the next year may bring.
Conversations with kids in the summer, especially if they are teenagers, may feel as fleeting and ineffective as trying to bottle the spirit of the season. But in many ways, summer is the most opportune time to talk with teens.
In summer, young people aren’t thinking of all that they encounter during a school day. Conversations will still be filtered through the lens of their lived experience - including the friends that form their inner circle - but in summer there’s less immediacy to it all.
We know that each year in a teenager’s life will bring new challenges and opportunities.
Even if we receive the occasional eye roll or shoulder shrug, now is a great time to lean in with a few well-chosen questions to get teenagers thinking. After all, words have an effect. Especially when they take the form of a reflective question.
At BSBW, we provide our students with information relevant to the building of healthy relationships. Then we offer a way for them to integrate that information based on their own life.
As a helpful starting point, here is a list of questions to ask teens that correlate with the 5 Be Strong, Be Wise Safety Tools. Notice that they also coincide with many aspects of the school experience.
Safety Tool: Communication
Question: What would you say or do if someone sent you an inappropriate or illegal text?Safety Tool: Gut instinct
Question: How does it feel in your gut when someone you’re not interested in comes on strong to you?Safety Tool: Affect Manipulation
Questions: What might you do if you’re in a situation that feels risky but you don’t want to let others know you’re scared? (How would you look tough even if you don’t feel tough?)Safety Tool: People Perception
Question: What would you say or do if someone who you just met started giving you the creeps?Safety Tool: Common Sense
Question: Even if it applies to your future self- what is your code of conduct around substances and the party scene? Would you avoid “hooking up” with someone if you knew they were too intoxicated to give consent?
Studies have shown that teens want to have conversations about the things that they are exposed to every day. As caring adults, it’s our job to create space for these discussions, even if they are uncomfortable at first.
I hope these questions are helpful as you prepare the teenagers in your life for the upcoming school year. For more information on how to empower youth with increased self-awareness and confidence in relationships, check out our signature program for youth.