Teaching Teens About Consent

What Young People Need to Know

pexels-tim-mossholder-3057925.jpg

Teaching teens about consent is crucial to their personal empowerment and one of the best ways to arm them against unwanted sexual experiences. However, a recent study shows that nearly 50 percent of teenagers are confused by consent.

 Oftentimes, the confusion is complicated by social factors such as the need to be liked, peer pressure, and sexual pestering.  Since many college campuses report that sexual pestering (pressuring someone to have sex) is on the rise, teaching teens about consent is a crucial part of the college readiness process.

So, what is consent and why is it important?

Consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity, and is something that should be clearly and freely communicated.  Many assault prevention experts are encouraging the idea of “affirmative consent,” which has the ability to teach young people how to listen to their gut at every stage of the intimacy process. 

Affirmative consent allows for both partners to check in with themselves and each other to determine if the experience is mutually agreed upon. “Does this feel good to you?” “Can I touch you there?” are statements that imply request for consent, but are also ways for young people to learn how to communicate with and respect their partners at a deeper level.

For example, it’s a lot more appealing for a partner to say, “I love kissing you, it feels amazing, can I touch you?” than a simple, “Can I touch you?” Both qualify as a request, but the first has a connecting quality, a join-up that says to both partners, “We are in this together and both deserve a mutually satisfying experience.”

Teaching teens about consent means helping them find out what they are comfortable saying in a sexual encounter in order to ensure the experience doesn’t go farther than intended, but also to make sure that both parties are equally enjoying themselves.

What young people need to know about consent  

1) Sexual activity without consent is considered assault; which means consent is no longer only required in certain situations but in every situation. 

2) Giving and receiving consent doesn’t have to be boring. As some of our examples show, consent can be affirming and can bring a couple closer together.

3) Consent builds personal awareness and connection.  For teens, knowing what is comfortable for them sexually and how to communicate that to a partner is empowering, for it cultivates the kind of confidence that supports healthy relationships in general.

Consent is much more complicated than most of us realize, requiring a continual conversation and exploration of what consent means when it comes to sex or otherwise.

If you’re interested in equipping your teenager or young adult with more empowering wisdom and strength to understand what consent means for them, check out my signature program, here: https://www.bestrongbewise.com/programs-for-youth

Amy Carpenter